Monthly Archives: September 2011

The streets

The Streets
Young woman, 17 years old

Sometimes we think that the street is our friend,
that it will never leave us alone.
It will always be with us,
it will support us in the worst moments of our lives.
What the street offers us
is the best that we could possible have,
you feel at your best on the street.

But when something difficult comes along
you realize that the street doesn’t support you,
that it wasn’t truly your friend like you believed.
The street will always be there to receive us,
but we will never be there to receive it,
because it will never approach us.

The street gives us temptations, vices,
there comes a moment in which the street drives you to the point of despair,
because to be in the street is to give oneself to vice.
You think that what it offers you is good, is perfect,
but it’s a trick.
In the worst moments it’s not with you,
it doesn’t even think about helping.
You feel betrayed, disappointed.
It makes me sad to think of how many moments I spent with the street,
and now that we’re doing badly,
the street isn’t with us when we most need it.

We give love to the street
but the street doesn’t give us love,
it brings us disillusionment.
You feel good to know that it’s waiting for you.
But there’s the catch,
that it’s not always waiting with something good.
Where you fell once, you can fall again.

Despite everything
I’d like to go back to the street.
This time so that I can dominate the street,
not so it can dominate me again with its vices.


My First Christmas in the Re-Insertion Center

 

Published by: Olivia

I sat with a friend of mine because it had been some time since we talked, and I asked her what was good.  She said she was only thinking about behaving well because in three months she has another revision in which she is going to ask for permission to leave on short visits.  “It´s almost December,” she told me, “and I don´t want to spend another Christmas inside…”

My First Christmas in the Re-Insertion Center

Young Woman, age 17

My first Christmas in the center was happy and at the same time sad.  I think I was feeling opposite and conflicting emotions, one moment I forgot and I wanted to take it like any other day but I remembered everything I did during previous Christmases and seeing all of my friends cry I wanted to be strong—I looked to the sky—but when I heard the fireworks I couldn’t hold it in and I cried.  Thoughts came to me about God, and my family, and I gave thanks to God for the New Year that was coming.  Despite the fact that I was locked up, I was alive.  Even now I think God knows what he is doing, although sometimes I don´t understand. 

About an hour after crying, we began to mess around all the crazies, and we played a few pranks.  But some girls didn´t know how to hang out and they got us caught.  Want to know what we did?

Well the women who take care of us gave us soda and I stole a tube of toothpaste and we poured it in, well we put in a little bit and we drank it.  Holy crap but I woke up as if I had gotten really drunk with a hangover and a headache.  It was fun but at the same time sad…

I will never forget this f*cking place.

 


Between the darkness and the light

Between the darkness and the light
Young woman, age 17

I have eyes that see,
but they don’t see what they want to.
I have ears that hear
something that I want to know.
Either way, I can’t see.

Sometimes you feel that you have a path,
the path is straight,
but you can’t see the end,
it get’s father away.
You’re there, walking,
you look to your left and to your right,
and you know that you can’t go either way.
You continue walking and you long to see what your eyes long to see.
You wish to hear that voice,
wish that your hands could hold the person
that you carry in your mind and your heart.

Sometimes I feel that I’m in a tunnel,
where I run and run and I only see darkness.
My eyes long to see a little bit of light.
I look for an exit but I don’t find it,
a door that is so close to me,
and at the same time, so far.

You feel scared,
knowing that you can’t get out
you can’t see the light.
You feel sadness because you can’t be how you long to be.
You feel bitter
because we make mistakes
and the mistakes of others have affected us as well.

At the end of the tunnel is the opening,
maybe it’s very far away, but it’s there.
Maybe by seeing the light
I would feel happiness from being as I desire to be.
I would feel many conflicting feelings.
Maybe you’re going to trip on the same rocks in the road
that in the past tripped you up.

I’ll feel so many smiles on my face.
I’ll feel like I’m flying,
that I’m going to float into the sky and touch the clouds.
I’ll feel an immense happiness in my heart.
I’ll feel as if the darkness of the night could no longer cause me harm,
and as if the light of the sun were the greatest thing in my life.


What They Don’t Tell You

Published by: Olivia

“Describe yourself,” I told Rebe when she asked me what we were going to write about today.  After several minutes of “I don´t know how, I don’t know what to write, I don´t know who I am,” I realized what a difficult task I had given her.  How is it that this girl sitting in front of me has never been asked who she is, and has never asked herself?  Why is it that I have the privilege to ask myself all the time and still don`t know?  I long to create this space for her, encourage her to write something, to explore herself from different angles.  I ask her to think about times she felt truly alive, times in which she felt loved, times in which she made difficult decisions, in which she experienced fear or regret or pride, in which she was hurt, moments of joy.  In my creative writing class this week I was asked to journal about my physical and emotional reactions to the question: who are you?  I sit here biting my pen, without inspiration, and realize how connected we all are in our journey for self-discovery.

What They Don’t Tell You

I think people will never understand you and they will never tell me what they think of me but it doesn’t matter…Know why?  Because people will never see the good in you or the marvels you can do they will just see your defects and bad things you have done, that’s why this is called “what they don’t tell you.”

Well they will always try to verbally attack you, this is the least of it and meanwhile these people who don’t say anything to you are worse than you…So always have clear what they don’t tell you because this is what doesn’t have to matter.

I think that these people who don’t tell me what they think of me, good or bad, I think it is because they don’t know me now they criticize me for an error I committed I think they will always do this for the simple fact that they think you don’t have feelings and  you don’t do anything good for other people, and I think the people who don’t tell me things I think these people someday are the ones who will need more from me, for good or for bad, and so all those people  who don’t tell me who I really am it’s because they don’t realize their own defects, they just criticize other people.

What they don’t know about me!

I think that even I ask myself: Who is Rebecca?  But I don’t even know myself, but I think that the true Rebecca left because of all the suffering and that right now the Rebecca that is here only feels good when she spends time with her mother or when she is kissing her boyfriend, or when she is in a nice place with her friends.  But OK I think that in these moments exists the true Rebecca.